It is extremely difficult for me to talk about this, but I have decided to let Jesus be glorified in my weakness, and to let Him use my past and my experience to further His Kingdom by communicating the amazing and saving truth of His Word.
This note is not geared towards non- Christians. It is geared towards those of us who are professing believers of Jesus Christ and who believe in the God of the Bible. But I hope that even if you are not a Christian that you will read this with an open mind and evaluate your own beliefs and do your own research on Christianity and the Bible. Our faith is NOT a blind faith. There is plenty of evidence, and I encourage you to seek it.
First off, I want to make clear that I am not writing this with the intent of condemning ANYONE. I genuinely care about the issue of homosexuality and the people who live the gay lifestyle. If I didn’t care I would not be saying anything. Everything in me wants to stay silent about this. I want to fit in with the Christian community, and have avoided speaking out about homosexuality because I don’t want that stigma attached to me when people look at me or think of me. But I’ve realized I can’t do something so incredibly selfish. I lived a gay lifestyle, and God poured out His grace on me to show me the truth, and I am OBLIGATED to share that truth with others.
Chances are, you know someone who is gay. Or maybe you are yourself. My entire life, up until September of 2010 when I was saved, I lived under the impression that I was born gay. I hid it for years, not “coming out” until I was 20, in August of 2009. The culture in America has taken homosexuality and made it as natural as being born left handed, and that’s what I grew to think also. I thought that I was genetically designed to be gay, and that’s how I was going to live my life. I wasn’t going to deny who I really was anymore; I was going to embrace it and enjoy my life. For over a year I lived an openly gay lifestyle. Everyone knew…my friends, parents, family. And I’ll have to tell you that with the exception of my dad telling me it was wrong, I was completely supported by everyone and my lifestyle was condoned. I had never felt more accepted in my life, and had never had so much fun or been so happy. I was enjoying my life of going out and getting drunk & embracing my “gay identity”.
Long story short, this past September, Jesus Christ intervened in my life. Nothing bad happened (there was no rock bottom for me). It’s just like one day I was awakened, I wasn’t even sure what it was. I had never identified myself as “Christian”. I didn’t deny God, I just honestly never thought about Him. I was so caught up in myself and my life that it never crossed my mind, at all. God, Jesus, Christianity, the Bible were all completely foreign thoughts to me. But one day about 6 months ago I felt something inside of me wake up. I decided to seek God and see what this was. I told God, and my Christian friends, that I didn’t know if being gay was right or wrong, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me from seeking God anymore. I wasn’t going to take anyone’s word about the issue (I’m stubborn like that), I was just going to let God show me. And He did.
I started coming across verses like: (this is just one of many verses pertaining to homosexuality)
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 “….Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral nor idolators nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the Kingdom of God”
And then I came across the very next verse:
1 Corinthians 6:11 “And this is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God”
I started to see that even 2000 years ago there were homosexuals, like me, who were made clean. It was then that God started to open my eyes to the truth about being gay. Homosexuality is no greater than any other sin- like adultery, fornication, etc. I asked God to let me look at this through His eyes and not my own. Culture has made homosexuality “NATURAL”. Because it feels natural. (” There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death”- Proverbs 14:12) Well based on that logic, pedophiles would also just be “born that way” and there should be nothing wrong with that. Same thing with adultery. Honestly, it’s just a matter of time before our culture decides that pedophilia and adultery are just as “natural” as homosexuality and should not be looked down upon, and that they should be accepted as a functioning part of society.
I then knew that homosexuality is not an “identity” or an “orientation”, it is a SIN stemming from LUST. It sounds like I’m downplaying the struggle people have with homosexuality, but I assure you I am not. That is just the simple truth of it. The world has made being gay as identifying and unchangeable as the color of our skin or eyes. But it’s not. It’s SIN. SIN that should be repented of just as any other sin. Sin that can be abolished and made clean by the blood of Jesus Christ. When you say that you were “born this way”, you’re absolutely right. WE ARE ALL BORN SINNERS INTO THIS WORLD. That is why Jesus said that unless we be born again, we will never see the Kingdom of God. When we start looking at it for what it really is, we start seeing and accepting that fact that homosexuality is in fact something that can be repented (turn way from) of and forgiven for.
The common argument presented by the gay community is “Well, in the bible it says that a man lying with a man is an abomination, but that’s in Leviticus in the old testament. We don’t live by the old testament anymore, we live by the new testament! We can live a gay lifestyle because Jesus came to free us from the bondage of the Old Testament”. Number 1- Jesus came to free us from the power of SIN. Not the power of the Bible. His grace does not give us a license to sin, but the ability NOT to sin. Number 2- When people refer to the old testament, they are referring to the Mosaic Law. There are 3 parts to the Mosaic Law- Ceremonial, Civil, and Moral. Jesus Christ fulfilled the law in His life, death and resurrection. We no longer have to continue to make sacrifices to cover our sins, because He presented Himself as a once and for all sacrifice for sin. But the Moral part of the Law reflects God’s character… God is unchangeable, therefore His morals do not change. The moral part of His law STILL applies today. But that’s besides the point, because there is plenty of scripture in the NEW TESTAMENT that says the same thing about homosexuality- it is SIN. My friends, you have to realize that GOD has not changed over time, PEOPLE have changed.
Just because you feel a certain way or think a certain way does not mean you are right. God flooded the earth the first time because when He looked down He saw that all of the thoughts of man were wicked and continually evil (Genesis 6:5). That is what has been wrong with people from the beginning, was our thought life. Without the grace and Spirit of God, we are completely messed up. Our thoughts, our desires, our feelings, our actions. God’s solution to this was to give us better thoughts, HIS WORD! A thought (like you’re an unchangeable homosexual) will never end until you receive a new thought, a BETTER THOUGHT, a DIVINE THOUGHT, from His Word!
I am not here to try to convince anyone, because no person can do that. I am only here to present the truth. I am not saying that you are changed from “gay to straight” overnight. That’s not even the point. Like any sin, if you struggle with homosexuality, it is likely you will always struggle with it to some degree. Just like other people struggle with the temptation of any other sin. But I can tell you from my own personal experience, that when you genuinely seek God and His truth, homosexuality, or any other sin, will no longer have a hold on you. The thoughts seem to just disappear over time and they are fewer and further in between.
If you are a practicing homosexual, the truth is that you will not go to Heaven if you die before you ever truly repent of it. If we are truly saved and converted, we cannot continue on in a lifestyle of sin. Read 1 John. Someone can NOT be a gay Christian. Just like they can NOT be a thieving Christian, or a lying Christian, or a cheating Christian. That’s not my opinion, that’s God’s truth. The day that you stand before God to receive your judgement, you are not going to look back on your life and care about the way that you “felt” and what you “thought” was right. You are only going to care about THE TRUTH that could have saved your soul, and you will curse the person who you know knew the real truth, and never warned you. I cannot bear the guilt of having anyone’s blood on my hands. I know that I will be judged by people for speaking out about this, and probably persecuted for it. But my PURPOSE is greater than myself. I can endure whatever is thrown at me if I can rest in the hope that at least one person who may be struggling with homosexuality comes to Christ. That is the only thing that matters. God, Your will be done, not mine.
There are more people that struggle with homosexuality than we know. There are those who secretly struggle with it and never speak out about it. I want to tell you, if that’s you, that you will never overcome this without talking about it…with a trusted person and with God. And I offer myself as that person to anyone that may need to talk about it, and you have my word that it will never go beyond us.
I get extremely frustrated when people dumb down the Gospel of Jesus Christ. They remove parts that are hard to talk about, like sin and repentance, therefore it has no power. Well I am here to tell you all, that the GOSPEL OF JESUS IS CHRIST IS THE POWER OF SALVATION UNTO ANYONE! If God can forgive me, I assure you, He can forgive you. There is SO much power in His word, and in His truth. I haven’t even had full revelation of that power yet. Please, PLEASE, don’t let your preconceived notions of the bible based on what you’ve heard keep you from opening it up. It is so much more than just a book… SO much more.
The grace of God is so much stronger than any sin that may have a hold on you. I am living, walking proof of that. He will pour His mercy and grace on those who truly surrender to Him, and repent of their sins. If there’s any advice I could give you it’s : Don’t trust your heart. Don’t trust your feelings and thoughts. Don’t trust what other people say (parents, doctors, scientists, preachers). God said, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is He”- Proverbs 23:7. Please, do not trust your own thoughts and hold onto a false hope of salvation. Christ is willing to forgive anyone for anything, but it’s up to you to acknowledge that you are wrong, and to surrender to Him. TRUST GOD. TRUST HIS WORD. HE WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE.
Matt Moore, US citizen